Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Today marks the one month anniversary since my Mom went to be with the Lord. I have had her on my heart a lot lately. This week Spencer and his dad are out of town on business so I decided to stay with my mother-in-law so we could keep each other company. Whenever my mom came to visit after we had the boys she would stay at my in-laws. This week I am staying in the room that she always stayed in. She loved coming to Florida and staying at the Blunden's, she always said that she got the best sleep in this bed. I was thinking back to the last time she was here. It was April of this year, I had just had Joshua. One night I was with her in her room helping her get ready for bed and she just sat there and told me how embarrassed she was of the scar on her head and how she missed her hair. I still remember how she looked and how she smelled.
Two nights last week I had the same dream twice. I was in the church lobby and I turned around and my mom was there. I was like she was just there visiting like she used to. She looked so beautiful, she had hair, she was all dressed like she used to dress and she was just glowing. I ran to her and hugged her....and you know what I could really feel her hug. It was like God was letting me feel her again in my dream. Of course I woke up very emotional, but now I think it wasn't meant to be sad or scary...just a sweet hug from my mom. Feeling her arms around me and smelling her perfume. Just like she used to be.
Sunday morning at church we had the most amazing time of worship. I love love love worship on Sunday mornings, I just love singing praises to the Lord. The one thing I kept wondering was what Mom must be experiencing. She is spending her days singing praises in the presence of the King. How awesome. I miss her like crazy....but my sorrow will only last for the night....joy comes in the morning!
Posted by Lindsay at 10:23 PM
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tonight is a monumental night in the Blunden household. Spencer and I were playing with the boys on our bed and I got a side view of Andrew's teeth. I thought to myself "He's getting little buck teeth." So I looked at Spencer and asked, "should we pitch the binky tonight?"
Now don't get me wrong, it is not strictly for vanity that I thought he should lose the bink. Although good dental genes are not in his favor.
About 4 months ago I decided that I was going to wean Andrew from his binky. So for about 2 days I took it away at naps. He cried, and he cried and he cried some more. Then at bedtime I would give him the binky. I guess I thought I could break him from it at naps and then once he got used to that I would take it away at bedtime....brilliant, I know. Well after a few days I realized that I needed to be consistent one way or another....so I gave in and just let him have the thing back.
Andrew is by no means a "binky addict." Since he was 8 months old he has only used it at night and naptime. With that being said, I had the best intentions to break him of it before now. But then we were out of town, he was cutting molars, blah blah blah. I kept finding reasons to not take it away. When I decided to break him of his binky habit I wanted to make sure that we were going to be home, in a familiar surrounding and give him plenty of other "constants" so that when we took one away, he wouldn't completely fall apart.
Well tonight Daddy took Andrew into his room, he got his binky out of his crib and Daddy walked him into the kitchen and told him it was time to say "bye bye" to the binky. (Andrew says "bye bye" to everyone and everything when it is time to leave someone or something.) Andrew placed it in the trash, waved to it, walked to his room, we said prayers and laid him in his bed.
First I heard him talking. Then I heard him whimpering. Then came the coughing, the gasping for breath, the "MOMMY!!!! DADDY!" We took him a drink of water, prayed for Jesus to comfort him and laid him back down. We did this twice. I am glad to say that we put him to bed at 8:00 and it is now 8:31 and completely silent.
I told Spencer, "I didn't think about him having his last nap with his binky. But we can't make him stay a baby forever." The way I look at it, I could let him have it for another six months....a year, two years....but it would only be harder for him to give it up, so in the long run I am doing him a favor....right? :-)
Posted by Lindsay at 8:18 PM
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Today I am praying for my boys....that they will be each others' best friend! I love when I go in to get Andrew up from his nap and he pats his bed asking me to put Joshua in with him so he can play. I love when we say night-time prayers and Andrew puts his arm around Joshua's shoulders. Andrew is the big brother I prayed he would be and Joshua is his #1 fan!
*Please note, things around here are not always peaches and cream. I do not want to come across as being "so perfect" Yes, there are times that Andrew would rather not share his toys with Joshua or give him hugs and kisses. But that is why I pray for them, because I know that only God can make us all better sons/daughters/parents/children. I know how much my Mom prayed for me and I am doing my best to remember to pray for my children!
Posted by Lindsay at 4:25 PM
Monday, November 2, 2009
Today was one of those days that everyone said I would have. Since my Mom passed away I have been doing well, I haven't moped around crying all the time or anything like that. But today was just a bad day. I think the best way to describe how I have been feeling is....lonely. Really lonely.
I love staying home with my boys, but most days that means that I in fact....stay home. All day. With zero adult interaction. I used to talk to my Mom every single day. There was never a day that went by when we didn't talk. She cared about every little detail of my life and of my baby's life (Andrew was the only one around before she got sick.) If he did something silly or funny or if he accomplished something new I knew I could call her and she would care, think it was cute or celebrate with me. I don't have that anymore. My Mom was my best friend.
If you are a young woman reading this then you can likely relate. I hear many people talk about having a new baby and how their mom's come to stay with them for weeks and help them out. Or how people have mothers that live close that baby-sit so they can get away with their husbands. I know everyone has unique circumstances, but if you have a mom that is close or just a phone call away, make sure to tell her how much you love and appreciate her.
Today has been rough, but I am sure that tomorrow will be better. Someday down the road I am sure I will have another one of these "funky" days. For now I will just pray that the Lord will comfort me and maybe bring some people into my life, into my sister's life, into my brother's lives to make the "everyday stuff" not so lonely.
Posted by Lindsay at 9:29 PM