Monday, November 2, 2009

One of those days

Today was one of those days that everyone said I would have. Since my Mom passed away I have been doing well, I haven't moped around crying all the time or anything like that. But today was just a bad day. I think the best way to describe how I have been feeling is....lonely. Really lonely.
I love staying home with my boys, but most days that means that I in fact....stay home. All day. With zero adult interaction. I used to talk to my Mom every single day. There was never a day that went by when we didn't talk. She cared about every little detail of my life and of my baby's life (Andrew was the only one around before she got sick.) If he did something silly or funny or if he accomplished something new I knew I could call her and she would care, think it was cute or celebrate with me. I don't have that anymore. My Mom was my best friend.

If you are a young woman reading this then you can likely relate. I hear many people talk about having a new baby and how their mom's come to stay with them for weeks and help them out. Or how people have mothers that live close that baby-sit so they can get away with their husbands. I know everyone has unique circumstances, but if you have a mom that is close or just a phone call away, make sure to tell her how much you love and appreciate her.

Today has been rough, but I am sure that tomorrow will be better. Someday down the road I am sure I will have another one of these "funky" days. For now I will just pray that the Lord will comfort me and maybe bring some people into my life, into my sister's life, into my brother's lives to make the "everyday stuff" not so lonely.


  1. still praying for you lindsay! know that your mom is watching from heaven and she is still celebrating the simple everyday things with you.

  2. Lindsay your family are all in my prayers. When my husband passed I told myself this is a new phase in my life a new adventure to be had....hard as it was as the days, weeks, months passed this new adventure began to unfold. Strange as it felt without him there things fell into place. The first year is the worst because it's full of firsts. But looking back I realized that Doug was looking down blessing me and the girls. As you will realize that in death your loved ones walk with you it's just in a different way. Hang in there I know God has chosen a special path for you and your family, just take things an hour at a time, day at a time at what ever pace you can and some day you'll look back and realize mom is still watching over you.